So where to next?

After 40 days and 40 nights, I arrived in Santiago de Compostela early yesterday morning.

I could not have scripted a more perfect ending to my Camino, even if I tried.

A beautiful morning, a short line at the pilgrim’s office, an upgrade to my hotel room, a heartfelt blessing from the priest during the English service, and -quite by accident- a perfect view of the botafumeiro during the Pilgrim’s mass.

People I met throughout the weeks, dotted across the city.

I was even greeted by Dodo, who I last saw after the yoga session at Albergue Verde in Hospital de Orbiga, just as I was on my way to get my Compostela. My personal welcoming committee – a dear friend, receiving me with joy and a deep hug.

Throughout the journey, I have been overwhelmed by all the love and encouragement I have received – the participation in my journey on social media, friends holding space for me, sending words of encouragement and cheering me on.

The question I was asked most often after arriving yesterday was, “where to next?”

I appreciate the question for what it is, and where it comes from.

I love the love.

But for now, I want to arrive here, in my own body, in this town which I walked 770km to reach.

Feel what it feels like to inhabit myself fully, unbroken, with my life force intact. Noticing where I need to do more work, feeling when I lose energy, and where it goes when I don’t guard it.

I’m weary of repeating old behaviors, now that I have to start walking a path without visible yellow arrows again.

I’m weary of allowing my life to slowly be eroded by my choices, so I end up defeated and empty and broken, like the picture on the left, taken a mere seven weeks ago…

I received heaps of compliments and congratulations yesterday, but in truth it was much harder living in my life before I took the leap, than it was walking the Camino Francés to Santiago de Compostela.

Now, as they say, my real Camino starts.

Ultreïa! Ultreïa! Et sus eia!

Deus adjuva nos!